The Know God! Journal

Recent Evidence of God Once Again

2011-09-29T22:33:00.002-05:00

A while back, I had a bad week at work. Like I just said, God had been on the back burner while I was studying. I began getting back into my morning Joyce Meyer meditation, and God showed Himself to me in a tremendous way. I have a necklace that I was wearing with just the amethyst serenity stone on it. I had taken my cross off for awhile. I came home from work, and tossed my sobriety medallion into my basket on top of that cross. The cross was underneath the medallion. In the morning when I went to grab my medallion, the cross was very neatly lain on top of the medallion. It was seriously placed there meticulously. Now, my husband and I are the only ones who live in our house. Needless to say, I was once again blown away by the obvious presence of the Holy Spirit. May God Bless you for another Day,

Jacy

It Has Been Way Too Long...

2011-09-29T22:27:00.003-05:00

I wish I had more time to blog, but I have been busy. I recently finished by Bachelor's degree in nursing after being a nurse for 25 years. God had been very instrumental in all of that, even though I have seemed to put Him on the back burner, He had His ways of letting me know that I still needed Him and He was still there.

My nephew is 7 now. How time has flown. In a year, I hope to be finished with my MSN.

Opportunists

2010-06-08T11:40:00.002-05:00

Recently, I have noted that there are many opportunists out there who prey on people such as myself who want to post to a blog innocently. I do not want your Viagra, Motrin, etc. advertising on my post responses. That said, do I think it will do any good? Hardly. So, go ahead and post it. I too, have technology, and I will remove it. It wastes your time and mine. Have a nice day all you who are not riding on the coat tails of my blog to advertise. God Speed, Jacy

God is still there, He shows Himself mildly

2010-02-07T15:21:00.003-06:00

So, have you seen God lately? I have seen Him in the beautiful snow that has been falling the last two days. I have seen Him in the sparrow hawk that landed right outside my kitchen window on the fence, and I was too late to get a picture of. I wish I could get back here more often to post. I am working hard on my RN to BSN school studies. I keep up on the goings on at Whiteclay through my Google Alerts. It seems that Bruce Bonfleur is getting some attention up there from the Nebraska government. IT IS ABOUT TIME!! That man was sent up to Whiteclay by God directly. Bruce is an Angel in disguise, and has been tested by the devil many times over. It is a shame that there are some American Indians that will not open their mind to what Bruce is doing. We "white-eyes" are not all bad. Our generation has had the unfortunate education of finding out just how the Indians got shafted back in the 19th century. I know they got shafted before that, but in my neck of the country, it was in the 19th century. "Dances With Wolves" is 20 years old this year. It has changed my life tremendously, and I am not even American Indian. It will be run on AMC tonight, twice, with commentary by Kevin Costner. I hope you will watch. God was there too. Peace in the Great Spirit, Jacy

Missing Letter to the Editor, July 10, 1999, "Only One Side of Whiteclay Protests Told"

2008-08-26T11:51:00.002-05:00

"There are two sides to every story. Living in a democracy, with our judicial system, we strive to make that happen. I would urge you to remember that there are two sides to the Whiteclay situation. I've read both accounts in The Grand Island Daily Independent and The Omaha World-Herald. I want you to be aware that they are only printing the white side. I have no American Indian blood or genes. I am not a wannabe. I subscribe to a newspaper that is published from Rapid City, S. D. called Indian Country Today. This past week, it ran an account of what really happened in Whiteclay, Nebraska, on June 26 (1999), the very first march that took place from Pine Ridge to Whiteclay. The local newspapers put the emphasis on the fact that 4 million cans of beer per year are sold in Whiteclay. The real concern among the American Indians that live on the Pine Ridge reservation is that two of their "brothers" were killed, and no one is making any effort to investigate these killings. Wilson Black Elk, Jr, 40, and Ronald Hard Heart, 39, were found in a culvert one and a half miles south of Pine Ridge near the Nebraska border. On July 3, (1999) there was another march from Pine Ridge to Whiteclay. It turned out to be "peaceful", according to The Grand Island Daily Independent and The Omaha World-Herald. Next week, the newspaper will tell the Indian side of the account. I already have one account from two of my Indian friends who joined the march on July 3 (1999). I will be looking forward to what Indian Country Today has to say about the incident. Mitakuye Oyasin (Lakota for "all my relatives"). "

Grand Island Independent

2008-08-19T19:17:00.002-05:00

Wow!! When I spoke of the Grand Island Independent possibly covering something up, I was pretty sure I was just missing it online. But....I spent all of Monday afternoon looking through microfilm of the Grand Island Independent and found the letter I had written to them, that they published on July 10, 1999. That day of letters is nowhere to be found on their website. So, I emailed the Editor of the Independent and received a reply from him. He stated that he does not know why it is not there, and that there must be some kind of computer glitch. Should I believe that? I will be publishing that letter on this blog in the future. Stay tuned.... Peace in the Great Spirits name, Jacy

Are we naive, or just afraid to go outside of the box?

2008-08-17T11:32:00.005-05:00

In recent weeks, since I have not had to study, a friend of mine gave me a book entitled, "Where White Men Fear to Tread". It is the autobiography of Russell Means. What a very interesting read. First of all, we as Americans in our everyday lives, have no idea what goes on in other parts of the country unless the media prints or broadcasts something. So, we are therefore captives of the media in that they only print or broadcast what they want us to know. We do not know the other side of the story. That is disturbing. There are always 2 sides to every story. We get the side of the story that the media, and yes, the government, wants us to hear or see. So, when people like Russell Means publishes the other side of the story, we beat ourselves up, (or not), for being so naive and not thinking that there was more to the story. In June of 1999, 2 Lakota men, Wilson Black Elk and Ronald Hard Heart, were beaten and shot in the back of the head. The media ran up to Pine Ridge to get more information about the 2 men, and discovered that in Whiteclay, Nebraska, the population is 22, with 4 liquor stores, and the sales of 4 million cans of beer a year. I first saw the story in The Grand Island Independent. Thank God I could read between the lines of this "fine piece of journalism", and see that what the story was really about was 2 American Indian Lakota who were killed and no one cared who did it. I then wrote a Letter to the Editor of the Grand Island Independent calling them on the fact that what it was really about was racism. They rebutted by saying that the 4 million cans of beer were more important. Today, when I search the Independent's website archives, those articles are nowhere to be found. I would like to think that a news paper just a few miles down the road from me would not participate in a cover up. But, hey, they rebutted with 4 million cans of beer over human lives, so why am I surprised? Many, many cover ups have occurred over the years with American Indians since the American government has been organized. Our founding fathers were no angels. The faces on the sacred hill in the Black Hills are the very faces that made treaties, and broke them. The inexcusable treatment of American Indians is not new. It started when Columbus set foot here. It has continued to present day. And if you think it is not still going on then you are a prisoner in your own box. I have put my interest for American Indians on the back burner of my life in the last 6 years due to finding out who Jacy really is, my nephew, and my continuing education. But thanks to my good friend Nancy, I have moved from the back burner to the front. I hope that it can continue in that I am taking an American History class this fall. It will be interesting to know what the text book is leaving out. I am reading another book that has called out many cover ups. It is entitled, The Unquiet Grave by Steve Hendricks. Stay tuned...I will be commenting on this book also. In the meantime, Mitaku Oyasin, which means "all my Relatives". In the Great Spirits name, Jacy

Long time, no Log!!

2008-02-05T12:37:00.000-06:00

Hi All, It is almost 6 years that I have been sober now. I haven't posted here for 2 years. I need to get back to it. God has done amazing things in my life. Stay tuned....... Jacy

New Different Blog

2006-03-14T06:19:00.000-06:00

I really like this blog. I can blog right from Microsoft Word if I want to, but a friend of mine has a blog on MSN and it has a really cool picture feature. So, I have another blog right now. My nephew is just too cute to not show his pictures.

Here is the link: spaces.msn.com/knowgodjournal

I hope you take a look.

Jacy

More Evidence of God

2006-02-09T07:05:00.000-06:00

My focus lately hasn't been on my relationship with God. Fortunately, God doesn't hold that against me. So what is my evidence? Here's the story: Last night,my Significant Other (SO) fell asleep on the couch. I left him there all night. At 4:45 AM this morning the first alarm went off. I got up, and woke him up, then went back to bed. At 5:00 AM, the second alarm went off. I just stayed in bed, and assumed that he was up. At 8 minutes after, another alarm went off, literally. This was an alarm that I don't have. I have nothing that beeps like that, and no alarm is set to go off at 8 minutes after. The "beeps" woke me up. I didn't turn anything off. I got up, and sure enough, my SO was still asleep. I woke him once again, and he went to work at the right time. I love hearing from God this way. It strengthens my Faith. Never underestimate where God can and will show up. May God appear to you, and may you not miss Him, Jacy

HouseCleaning (The Real Kind)

2005-11-26T22:29:00.000-06:00

Linda and I were talking at work about the Fly Lady. She is a woman who has a website www.flylady.net, that helps you keep your house clean. We were talking about someone Linda knows who has started doing this. She said that this person has done amazing things keeping her house clean. Now, I have heard of this Fly Lady, and I even belong to her Yahoo Group. But I have been ignoring the emails that I get from her. So today, I came home and decided that I was going to seriously check this out. The first thing she has you do is a very thorough cleaning of your kitchen sink. I spent 3 hours cleaning my kitchen sink, and it was worth every minute I spent. The idea is to get your sink clean and then take steps everyday to keep it clean, so that you will never have to spend that long again. Talk about a feeling of accomplishment! It DOES make you feel better. For some reason, the rest of my kitchen doesn't look so bad if my sink is clean. So I am going to give this a try.
Give thanks for the little things,
Jacy

The Miracle of Change

2005-11-12T08:49:00.000-06:00

The miracle of change is sometimes over looked because it takes a length of time to occur. The miracle of change I am referring to is the changes that have occurred in me in the last 4 years.
Some of the things that have changed in me I never thought would. Those are the miracles of God. I was not able to change until I let go completely and let God do His thing. Then the changes came. They were not easy. I had to go “through”. But going “through” was worth it. The finished product, God’s finished product, is turning out ok. It is getting better and better each day. For example, the excerpt about Humility. I didn’t even know what humility was 4 years ago. So to write about it is even more extraordinary. Most change is good. Going through it is not always good for the person going “through”. But when you get to the other side by going “through” you will usually not have to go “through” again.
May you go through change willingly, and may it be worth it,
Jacy

Sometimes Life Hands You Lemons

2005-11-10T10:53:00.000-06:00

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and it is just too hard to make lemonade…or so we think. Stop for a moment and think about what happens when lemonade is made. First, the lemons are squeezed to the point they can’t be squeezed any more. Sound familiar? Let’s go on. Then the lemon rinds are either thrown in the trash or into the garbage disposal to be grinded up. Still with me? After the squeezing and the grinding, comes the juice; the product of the squeezing and the grinding; the product of the hard work. We then add some water, some ice, and some sugar. Ahh. The sweetener!! That is when it starts to get good. Thus it is with life. After we are squeezed and grinded, then the sweetener is added, and we start to get good. At least that is the way it is with me.

Until next time, I hope your life becomes sweeter,

Jacy

Create Your Own Small Victory(v)

2005-10-13T08:16:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but one of the things that I need to have to keep going sometimes is "small victories". For example, last evening I emptied the clothes hamper, washed everything in it (except one thing). I then hung it to dry, or put it in the dryer. This morning when I got up, I took 5 minutes out of my morning routine to fold the clothes in the dryer, and hang up any that were dry off the rack. My washer is empty, my dryer is empty, my hamper is empty, and my clothes baskets are empty. For me, that is a small victory. What a great feeling!! "Normal" would have been to walk around the basket of clean clothes for 4 or 5 days, and then have more to put in it. And eventually, fold it all and put it away. Lately, my finances are not in a desireable position. I am wearing the "G" on my back. It could be worse. It could be a "B", or an "F". It is only a "G". But I am wearing it. Turn it around, and I would still be wearing it on the inside. (Refer back to post on January 4, 2005 for more information about these letters.)

Today, I will wear the "v" on my back, and make an effort to wear the "G" on the inside. As time passes, the "G" on the inside will no longer be there, even when I am still in it, I won't have to wear that "G". But that will take me some time. I don't forgive myself quickly. God has forgiven me a long time ago, and He is saying, "lean on Me, I am your Rock."

May you have a "big" small victory today,

Jacy

The Daily Miracles of Life

2005-10-07T06:37:00.000-05:00

So, you say, you don't think God performs everyday miracles? Well, I know for a fact that He does, and did, yesterday for me. I needed a change of my ileostomy appliance. It was itching terribly. I had just eaten lunch! But it was driving me crazy. So, I went into the bathroom at work with my appliance change, and I said to God, "I need You to help me. You are the only one who can." I changed my ileostomy appliance, and my stoma behaved the whole time. (Nothing came out while I was doing it.) GOD is the ONLY ONE who can do that!!!!! I cannot!!

Next time you doubt those little everyday miracles could be happening, think about where you are at that very moment. If you are still here, then God has performed another of His many everyday Miracles.

May you notice God's miracle today,

Jacy

New Look, New Feel

2005-10-06T08:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, so the other look that my blog had was not working. Maybe because my amatuer attempts at html'ing are just that...amatuer. (Some of you will get this, and some of you won't. Don't be offended if you don't. Html is a computer creating term.) So how many times in our lives, as amatuers do we try to do the Professional's work? In my case, I am referring to God being the Professional. TONS!! Sometimes we just have to let the Professional do His job. That is tough for me somedays, but I can tell you it is getting easier. If we just think about it, we could all, and I mean ALL sit back and relax, and let God take over this world. He may not do what WE think should be done, or how quickly, but He will ultimately do it. I think of a co-worker of mine whose car literally fell in a hole while it was parked outside of her house. When we sit back and watch, and WAIT, God will eventually do His avenging for us. And we can take a much needed break from the tough tasks that He doesn't want us to do anyway. Have a glorious God day, Jacy

I'm Not Crunchy!

2005-08-07T18:20:00.000-05:00

I'm Not Crunchy!

Humility

2005-07-27T06:01:00.000-05:00

Humility is a state of mind that is not easy to achieve. It is like "giving in" to your self. It is an attribute that makes people beautiful. I don't mean beautiful in the physical sense. Quiet beauty that sometimes goes unnoticed. And who is surprised that it does go unnoticed. In a world where faster is better, one does not stop long enough to enjoy the qualities that others have. Am I humble? It depends on what day you catch me. I can be the most arrogant person there is and not even realize that I am doing it. That is when God's grace kicks in and gives me a good kick in the pants. The kicks in the pants come in many forms. I have to be ever mindful that I am only human, and I am no better of a human than anyone else. It does no good for me to give someone money to eat, if I brag that I did that to everyone I see. I guess the quiet beauty of humility needs to be quiet in order to be humility. Humbly asking God to remove my defects of character means that I recognize that I have defects, and would like them to be gone. God answers that prayer, but God is not at the "drive-through". He is at the gas station that you pull up to, and get your windshield washed, and your oil checked, and wait for the gas attendant to bring you your change. Washing the windshield and checking the oil all take time. But sooner or later, He comes out with your "change". And then you go on your way with the "change" He gave you, and try to keep that "change" in your pocket as long as you can. Suffice to say, mine gets spent every now and then, so I have to go back to the station, on my knees, and ask for my windshield wash and my oil check. The cement is hard, and depending on what day it is, it could be hot or cold, but it is not comfortable. But it is necessary for me. Have a great day!!! Jacy

Rebecca York/Ruth Glick: 100th Book Party

2005-06-26T23:21:00.000-05:00

Rebecca York/Ruth Glick: 100th Book Party

Thank You God

2005-06-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been basically forgetting about my blog. It has been a long time since I made an entry. For those of you who keep coming back, please forgive me for getting you here on false pretenses. "Relationships" seems to be the word of the month. Mine and other peoples that is. Funny how we can justify just about anything to make it seem like we want it to be. Huh! Back to the word of the month. Any type of relationship will fit in this category, and definitely this month. You could have the relationship between me and my bottle (that relationship is over), or the relationship between Carrie Bradshaw and "Big". But the one that must be, and is, at the top of my list is the relationship between my sister and her son. Yep, that would be my nephew. What a precious sight that is to behold. What a precious child he is. Some would say, "what is so special about him?" The same thing that is so special about your son, or your nephew. He "is". For now, that is his testimony. And for now, that is all the testimony he needs. Thank you God for Joseph, Jacy

Long Time, No Write (God's Right)

2005-06-26T22:42:00.000-05:00

Long time no writing here. I have been writing, just not here. "Morning Pages", the journal for creating, is where I have been writing. Not much different than here, just handwritten. And quick thought. Funny how lots of other blogs are getting read, and much attention paid to them. But write a blog about knowing God, and it gets lost in the surfing. (Do they still call it that?) So, how do I make this blog a "must read"? Only God can do that. He will when He is ready, and I just have to keep doing the next "write" thing. If you aren't getting this yet, then you don't know God very well. He created, He is creation, He is the creator, and I am His pen. He is using me in a lot of ways, and I believe that He will use me in this way also. Until later, Jacy

Have we learned how to predict the devil?

2005-04-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

How many times a day does the devil "mess" with us, and we pass it off as having a bad day? Speaking of the devil and messes. Yesterday, I was getting ready for work thinking that the place I work in needs to have more Christians that "walk the walk" (including me). I was thinking that every Monday I am off work, and I could lead a Bible study over the noon hour. I was pretty sure that the devil would not like this, and that he might attack me. I was not expecting what he dished out. At work, my ileostomy bag came loose, and I had quite a mess. Fortunately, I was in the bathroom at the time. I had to come home and clean myself up. With God's help, and what He has taught me, I was able to laugh, and go back to work with grace. I was enveloped in God's grace the rest of the day. So, I had defeated the devil in his latest attack. How many times can we say that? How many times a day do we let the devil get the best of us? Next time you are having a bad day, think about what you have been doing for God lately. If you think that you have been doing alot for God, then what is happening is that the devil wants to get to you, because he hates it when we work for God. Keep working for God, Jacy

What if we could only hear others, and not see them?

2005-04-17T06:05:00.000-05:00

The old adage, "you can't judge a book by it's cover", came to mind the other day, when I saw a woman on TV, and thought, "if I closed my eyes, she would be beautiful". Her voice was a calm soothing voice and her words gentle and caring. But her appearance was less than desireable. How many times do we scoot over in the elevator, or move aside at the Starbuck's line because someone whose appearance is not pleasing to our judgemental eye gets close? What if we stood there, and closed our eyes, and struck up a conversation with that person? What would we discover with our eyes closed that we wouldn't discover with them open? Do blind people have a wonderful gift that we who can see are missing out on? We very often take for granted the wonderful gifts that God has given us. Start saying "thank you" to God. He loves it!! Thank you God, Jacy

When it comes to life, how do you know when you finally grow up?

2005-04-16T05:49:00.000-05:00

Recently, I told my counselor that I finally felt like I knew who I was. I am 43 years old. It is about time that I knew that, don't ya think? So what is it that happened that made me feel that way? Was there a sudden bolt of lightening, a divine revelation from God saying, "you are finally grown up, My child." It was when I no longer was afraid to be me. It was when I could finally answer the question, "who are you?" It was when I stepped outside my own box, and took a look at myself the way others do. It was when I didn't try to be someone else, but just me. So, you say, what exactly did happen then? A while ago, when I was at work, I realized that I handle a certain situation a certain way. I realized that it is okay for me to handle that situation that way, and that my handling of that situation is unique to me. It is no one elses, but mine. Recently, a friend of mine's mother died. When I was at the funeral home, a woman whom has many characteristics that I envy, walked in ahead of me. I paused at the back of the funeral home, and waited my turn. That woman talked to the friend in a certain way. As I stood back watching, I realized that I am not like that when it comes to death, but that I am the way I am, and IT IS PERFECTLY OK TO BE THAT WAY!!! WOW!! To think of all the effort and hard work I could have saved my self in the years past trying to be someone else, or beating my self up because I can't handle a situation like so-and-so. Today, I am comfortable in my own skin. And that feels right to me. What a concept! Peace and God Speed, Jacy

February 27, 2002

2005-02-27T08:00:00.000-06:00

That is not a typo, you read it right. That is the last day I thought I needed a chemical to help me deal with life. My chemical of choice was alcohol. I have learned a lot in the last 3 years. Here is what I have learned just in the last year: 1. Faith is a noun and a verb. 2. God loves me no matter what. 3. It is ok to ask for help. 4. Asking for help keeps me humble. 5. It took a long time, but I now know who I am. 6. It is ok for me to be a human being, that is who God made me to be. 7. It is ok for me to say "no". 8. I have the tools I need to battle the devil. 9. I have courage I never thought I had. 10. I have serenity. Thanks for letting me share, Jacy

Stay tuned for February 27th

2005-02-21T23:21:00.000-06:00

I will be posting a very special entry on February 27th. It marks a very special anniversary for me. Stay tuned....... Keep Coming Back, Jacy

God's Grace of the Gift

2005-02-21T23:18:00.000-06:00

I promised to tell you the gift that I shared. The gift that I shared was the gift of telling someone who needed to hear and see about my ileostomy. I don't often get to share my experience strength and hope about that. To see someone's attitude totally change because they looked at me and realized that living with an ostomy is not the end of the world, is my annointing. He had that planned all along. I got to share with a man and his family when they received the news that an ostomy may be a possibility after surgery to remove a colon tumor. Let's face it, the diagnoses of the "Big C" is bad enough, and then the surgeon starts talking about "the bag". God is in control of the tumor, but God has given me the grace to be in control of helping those who may be, or already are, facing life with an ostomy. May the Grace of God be with you too, Jacy

Sharing Gifts

2005-02-02T20:57:00.000-06:00

22 years ago, God gave me a gift. Not all saw it as a gift at the time. A few years after that, God gave me the chance to share that gift with others who had the same gift. That gift that God gave me was to be the mile marker of my life. It isn't often that I get to share that gift. Today was one of those few days that I got to share it. "What is it?" you ask. It is the gift of getting to help another human being. "But people help each other every day!" you say. Yes, but few can help with the gift that I have. When sharing the gift that I have can be a mile marker in another human beings life, it becomes something only God can plan, carry out, and maintain. "What is it!?" you shout. Keep coming back and I will tell you. May you treasure God's gifts always, Jacy

You Can't See God Coming.....

2005-02-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

but you sure know when He has been there. One day at work, ( I am a Registered Nurse) I was caring for a patient whose main focus was to keep comfortable until his imminent death. I had just finished his bath, and repositioned him, combed his hair, etc. He looked quite peaceful and comfortable. He was unresponsive at this time. I was in the room by my self, and said outloud, "God, it has been a pleasure getting him ready for you." That was at 1000 am. At 1015 am, the man died. I did share this with some of the other nurses, because that is what God wants me to do. And now I am sharing it with you. May God appear in your life, and may you not miss Him, Jacy

Spiritual Awakening (My Visual Angel Experience)

2005-01-24T22:10:00.000-06:00

When I was about 9 months sober, my mother had surgery for lung cancer. The cancer was a quarter size tumor in her lung. Most people who have lung cancer don't find it in time to do surgery. Earlier that Fall, my mother had a very serious case of West Nile virus. It affected her brain and she was in the hospital, and skilled care for a couple months after. During her West Nile virus hospitalization, she had a routine chest x-ray. On the x-ray they saw the tumor in her lung. (In case you are not familiar with West Nile virus, it is a virus that is transmitted by mosquitoes.) The day that my mother had surgery, I felt like I had a conscious contact with God like I had never had before. The surgeon told us that he got all of the tumor, and that she wouldn't need chemo or radiation. Later that day, I sat on my mother's bed and said to her,"even mosquitoes have their place in God's world." The next morning I was up at 5:30 am to send my significant other off to work. I decided to change my ileostomy appliance because it is "quiet" in the early morning. I had finished that, and was on my way back to bed. I was about to shut the light off, and I saw a mosquito by the light switch. The date was November 22nd. I tried to grab the mosquito, but missed it, and couldn't find it. I said to God, "yeah, I know you are there." I got in bed and layed down. I saw a figure across the room. It was so distinct that it sat me up in bed. It was a tall figure with a long white robe on, and no face. It lasted for a split second, and then it was gone. I had never seen anything like that in my life, nor have I since. Yes, I do think it was God, or someone acting on His behalf. Someday I am sure I will find out. May Angels be with you always, Jacy

God Was There All the Time

2005-01-23T23:20:00.000-06:00

This weekend I experienced a new frontier in Fellowship. The Area Meeting. A God-created Miracle of One Person Helping Another. Sharing experience, strength, hope, laughs, meals, ice cream, God-guided decisions and proposals. Recovery in Action.....the best kind.....SERVICE! There are all kinds of service. From cleaning ash trays to giving rides to helping load luggage to making sure that one person gets to eat and get their medicine. Delegate, Alternate Delgate, District Committee Members, General Service Representatives, and a whole bunch of patience, humor, cooling-off periods, courtesy, willingness to listen and to wait-plus a sense of fairness and trust in a "Power greater than ourselves" and in each other. It Works If You Work It, Jacy

Angels Among Us? You Better Believe It!

2005-01-15T21:22:00.000-06:00

Since I told you my story a few days ago, I can tell you about my Angel experience the other day. I was very tired and sleeping very deeply at 6 in the morning on Friday morning. My ileostomy bag was full of air, and other "stuff" also. Usually when this happens, and I am sleeping good, I have an accident in bed. In a very deep sleep, I heard a voice say "Jacy!" I actually made an audible sound with my voice, and said "uhhh....." and then I woke up. I do believe that a guardian Angel, MY guardian Angel woke me up so that I didn't have an accident in bed with my ileostomy. That is my audio Angel experience. Keep coming back, and I will tell you about my visual Angel experience. May Angels be with you too, Jacy

My Story

2005-01-11T06:04:00.000-06:00

I just heard someone say the other day, "Everyone has a story!" Here is mine. I became sick with ulcerative colitis (UC) when I was 18 years old. I started nursing school in Fall of 1980. The stress of nursing school does not help UC. In the early Spring of 1982, I was having 7-8 bowel movements a day, that were close to being pure blood. I remember one time making a mess in my pants at the hospital, and had to go home. (That was before the ostomy!) By Fall of 1982, I was sickly thin, and had to have blood transfusions for blood loss from the UC. In November of 1982, my UC turned into toxic megacolon, a life threatening condition. My ileostomy surgery was an emergency type. I didn't have alot of time to prepare ahead of time. I was so sick, that they only made my ileostomy, and had to wait until later to take out the rest of my large bowel. I was in ICU for a week after the first surgery which was 2 days before Thanksgiving, I had a pinhole gastric (stomach) ulcer that perforated. That started another 3 or 4 months of almost continuous hospitalizations. I had numerous pockets of infection in my abdominal cavity. In the midst of all of that, I developed a swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck that turned out to be Hodgkin's disease. They took my spleen out to "stage" my Hodgkin's. I had radiation therapy on my neck for about 6 weeks. After finally getting back to nursing school, and what I was re-learning to believe was a "normal" life (with an ileostomy), the Hodgkin's disease recurred in my lungs. I then had yet another operation on my left lung, and put off nursing school for another 6 months. I started a year long trek of chemotherapy; the second 6 months facing the fact that I may lose all of my hair, temporarily, at age 22. The thought of that was worse than my ileostomy. I made it through the chemo, didn't lose my hair enough to wear the wig I had bought, and now I am a Registered Nurse. When I say to my patients, "been-there, done-that", I do honestly mean it. Since I recovered from that physical trauma in my life, I got married. The man I married had no idea how emotionally sick that I was from that physical trauma in my life, and neither did I. The marriage lasted 14 years. I think I was just too afraid to try it on my own before that, and ended up drinking to escape all the "stuff" in my life that made me unhappy. I ended up becoming a member of a 12 step program, and getting a divorce. I have since met a man who gives me that emotional support that I so desparately needed in that marriage. He doesn't let me get away with the "games" I got so used to playing. Thus, those games were games that sick people played. I am on my way to emotional recovery. God is responsible for all of it. Believing God is not always easy, but Faith is resting in God's love, His presence, and His provision. Peace, Faith, and Love to all, Jacy

Going Through

2005-01-07T12:20:00.000-06:00

"In every case, pain had been the price into a new way of life." Bill W. When we are in pain, be it physical, mental, or spiritual, we don't see what is really happening at the time. If we are lucky, we will make it "through"without too many bruises and bumps. But every bruise and bump that we experience is just one more notch in the belt of life. When the devil is doing his best to defeat me, that actually means that I am on the right track. How ironic that sounds, but when you put it in common sense terms, it makes total sense. The better job that I do to help my self change for the better, the more the devil hates it, so he comes against me with anything he can get his hands on. If you have a strong foundation in the Lord, then you can with stand anything that the devil throws your way. My structure used to be very fragile, like a beach house that is torn away by a hurricane. After a few times having a hurricane blow the house down, I get smart and bulid my foundation stronger. The next time a hurricane comes, my house stands firm, because my foundation ( my relationship with God and Jesus Christ) is strong enough to withstand what ever the devil hits me with. Some times we go "through" for a long time. Our first instinct is to be sour and bitter the whole time we are going "through" a tough time. If we can still enjoy our life while we are going "through" the tough time, then we are defeating satan. What we have at the end of going "through" is a valuable life experience. That becomes one of God's greatest gifts to us. God has then taken something that the devil dished out to us, and turned it around for the good. God does that constantly. He may not do it in the time we want Him to, but when it is all over and done with, God prevails. Thanks for reading this and letting me share with you. Peace, Jacy

A Special Poem

2005-01-07T01:27:00.000-06:00

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.This year 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth; son, patron saint, Matthew." "Forest, Marjorie; daughter, patron saint, Cecelia." "Rutledge, Carrie; twins, patron saint...give her Gerard, he's used to profanity."Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles; "Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious, "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.""But has she patience?" asked the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it.""I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy.""But Lord, I don't even think she believes in you." God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness???? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a "spoken word." She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says, "Mama" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and will know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.""I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .....ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be by her side every minute of every day of her life because she is here by my side.""And what about her patron saint?" asked the angel, his pen poised in the air....God smiles."A MIRROR WILL SUFFICE."If you know someone with a special needs child, please share this with them. It will mean so much.

Evidence of God

2005-01-05T14:39:00.000-06:00

Well, as I sit here at the computer, it is snowing outside, and I am curious as to if there is a Snow Angel, who God assigns to just do snow. You know every single flake out there is different. There is only One powerful enough to do that. Just like there is only One powerful enough to create us as individual as each snowflake. The snow will pass, just like life will pass. That means that today, if I am going through a bad time, it will pass, along with the rest of my life. God doesn't give me more than I can handle, but He wants me to believe that. I have to believe in Him. Today, Joyce Meyer said, "In God's economy, you Believe first, and see later." I have to believe that God has His best interest for me. Then I will see the evidence of that after I believe in Him. Peace in the Winter Solstice,( in realty and in life) Jacy

Women of Faith, Part Two

2005-01-04T17:43:00.000-06:00

The second woman who has touched my faith walk is Beth Moore. Beth Moore was introduced to me this last Fall when a friend invited me to a Bible study. As I sat and listened to her talk, I wondered how she got so much energy. Her energy came from the Lord God. The name of the Bible study was "Believing God". We started the Bible study with a 5 point pledge of Faith. 1. God is who He says He is. 2. God can do what He says He can do. 3. I am who God says that I am. 4. I can do all things through Christ. 5. God's word is alive and active in me. One of the segments of the program when Beth was speaking, she was trying to show us how we "wear" our shame and guilt. She had several jackets with letters on the back of them, and asked some women to come up on stage to put them on and turn around. I don't remember all of them. (I wish I would have written them down.) One of the letters was "D"- Divorced; another was "TP" - Terrible Parent; another was "DUI" - Driving Under Influence; "R"- Reproach-she took this one, and cut the letter right out of it. But before she did that, she had the women turn the jackets around so that the letters were on the inside, but none the less, still there-on the inside of us. This whole thing had such an effect on me. Thus, Beth Moore is one of the women on my faith walk who made a difference in my Faith and my sobriety.

Women of Faith, Part One

2005-01-03T13:57:00.000-06:00

There are some women who have been very influential in my faith walk. The first one is Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries. www.joycemeyer.org/ I used to say, "I wouldn't be caught dead working the Day Shift." Then I got sober, and someone suggested that I come to the Day Shift, and I said yeah, that is what I need to do; that is a change I need to make. So, the first day that I got up early to go to work, I turned on the TV at 5:30 in the morning, and said to my self, "what am I going to watch at 5:30 in the morning?" I started flipping through the channels, and stopped on a woman who was talking about God. I began to listen to her. She had stuff to say that was about me, and how I was, and had been. She pointed to God's word, and then talked about Enjoying Everyday Life, and I loved it, and needed it, and I still do. Her ministry has become my church in every way. Don't get me wrong, I still get plenty of face to face fellowship at my 12 step group. Her and I did many of the same things before we started believing God for our lives, instead of believing ourselves. Thank you, Joyce, for making my life better, and more spiritual. Today, God is with me in almost everything that I do. Thus, I do have work to do, because He needs to be with me in everything that I do, not almost everything. Stay tuned for the next Woman of Faith on my list. You never know, it may just be you! Peace for the New Year, and God Bless everyone who reads this, Jacy

The 2 Way Door

2005-01-01T16:29:00.000-06:00

I have a friend who says "when I know me, I know you". He heard that a long time ago from a friend of his. So, what does one do to know one's self? For starters, it helps if we remember who we talked to and what we said to them. I have learned in this life that you can only do that if you aren't under the influence of a mind altering chemical, or in my case a liquid. One must also start by not shutting the door on the past, but not holding it wide open either. For some of us, that is not an easy task. Some of us have people in our lives who insist on putting the doorstop in the door, and holding it wide open, and letting all of the 2 way traffic go back and forth through it. My Mother made me a picture that says " When God closes a door, He always opens a window." Thus, God gives us a way out, ALWAYS! Today, God goes through that door with me, especially when I have to go backwards through it. I hang on tight to God then, so that I don't get stuck behind that door, and have to go through all that stuff again. One of these days, I will give you the "going through" speech. You may not need it, but I am sure that I will need to give it. Peace be with you, Jacy

The Last Year

2004-12-31T22:33:00.000-06:00

Ok, ok, so I used to go out on New Year's Eve and get blitzed. Then, when I became older, and I thought wiser, I just stayed home and got blitzed. Only I got blitzed everyday, not just New Year's Eve. So, having now lived the whole year, for the 2nd year in my life, with no alcohol, I am becoming a new creature. A new creature for sure in Jesus Christ, the Son of a God whom I won't ever be able to understand, and whom would be too small for my needs if I could. I am still waiting for some light on the tsunami thing. It is like a craving, this very strong curiosity that I have about what part, if any, God played in this thing. I was told today to read Revelations. I have always been the one asking the questions. Sometimes I was allowed to ask those questions, and sometimes I was not. Sooner or later, I will boldly ask the questions, and then it may be too late. Peace for the New Year, Jacy

explorefaith.org: Spiritual guidance for anyone seeking a path to God

2004-12-30T22:56:00.000-06:00

explorefaith.org: Spiritual guidance for anyone seeking a path to God

blogs4God - a Semi-Definitive List of Christian Blogs

2004-12-30T22:44:00.000-06:00

blogs4God - a Semi-Definitive List of Christian Blogs

God's Power

2004-12-30T19:50:00.000-06:00

. Life is tough, but I don't have to think so 24/7. Lately, I have found myself wanting to ventilate about someone that is bugging me, and realizing that there is a fine line between ventilating and gossip. Gossip is what I used to do, and I would be lying if I said I didn't do it anymore. But to the best of my ability at that given moment, I try not to gossip. I am reallThis is the first time that I have ever posted on a blog, so I guess it should be on my own blog pagey thinking about what part God has in this tsunami thing. If anyone can shed some light on that subject, I would love to hear it. Peace be with you all, Jacy